Over the last few weeks, I’ve shared a lot about setting intentions, cultivating rhythms, and establishing priorities. If you missed those posts, you can check them out here. These steps are, in my mind, foundational for setting yourself up for a year of intention and kingdom focus. So I’d like to take the last week of January to chat about setting boundaries that honor yourself, and your priorities and make room for God to move, amen?

Recently, I was talking with my counselor about how exhausted I was feeling. Seminary classes for the fall had just finished, and I still felt like I was underwater. Our conversation started by talking about what I felt was mentally or emotionally like a heavy lift. One of which was a lot of activities outside of my immediate family- like coffee dates, walks with friends, serving in many capacities, and family obligations. None of these was intrinsically bad- but compounded together with living in a broken world, my yoke was feeling heavy. She asked me an important question that caused me to pause and reflect, “Have you thought about setting some healthy boundaries for yourself and your time?”

Boundaries to me have always seemed scary- what if my boundary wasn’t nice to others, what if it wasn’t well received or honored? She gently reminded me of a verse in Scripture that reframed my broken worldview of boundaries with a kingdom mindset.

The Psalmist reminds us that boundary lines have fallen for us in pleasant places. Boundaries aren’t meant to be burdensome or filled with worry, but are intended to bring peace and rest. The verses that follow show that these boundaries come not from our own will, but by seeking counsel from the Lord and keeping our focus on Him. When we do, we receive the blessings of a joyful heart and security.

Boundaries allow us to prioritize what the Lord has revealed to us in prayer and our kingdom commissioning. I love the quote that is frequently spoken in my small group meetings, “If the enemy can’t bring you down he will make you busy.” There is truth in that statement- the enemy is always on the move looking for a way to tear your gaze and feet away from the path the Lord has set out for you. Boundaries help us to remain in pleasant places with faces and hearts turned towards the Lord.

I’ve attempted to set boundaries before, and because we’re friends, I can say that it hasn’t always gone well. However, my most recent approach to establishing boundaries has been been much easier- because I’ve gone about it with my goals, priorities and rhythms in mind. As I’ve allowed my priorities and rhythms to be shaped by the kingdom, it has encouraged me to establish boundaries that are kingdom-focused too.

Here’s an brief explanation on my boundaries:

Wednesdays are a day of the week that I consistently can dedicate to resting and with my favorite person this side of heaven, my husband. We rest together, go grab lunch and spend time mid-week taking a breath.

Trips with friends are the most fun- and they are also really challenging. For me, in this season with seminary, business ownership, and bonus-momming, I don’t get a lot of availability to take trips, and I’d like to spend that time with G and Alex. This isn’t never ever going to happen, but not right now.

No social events on the weekends is new to me- when Garrett and I sat down and looked at our schedule we realized we only had the opportunity to see each other on Wednesday nights and then Friday night into Sunday evening. We started to notice that our weekends were filling up with birthday parties and outings with friends or family. It took away from our ability to connect 1:1 with each other and as a family.

Finally, through reflection, I realized that I was doing a lot of pouring out. One week recently I was exhausted and ended up taking a four-hour nap on a Sunday. I realized that I had spent every day and every evening that week grabbing coffee or dinner or walking with friends. It was beautiful and wonderful and also too much. So, I decided moving forward that I would limit myself to two coffees/dinners/walks maximum a week. Plus, I really enjoy walking as a way to spend time in prayer.

Friend, a boundary is only good if it is communicated and honored. I’ve been the gal who sets an invisible boundary and then gets mad or hurt or blows up when it isn’t honored. My advice so you don’t have to learn the hard way like me is to communicate it. I’ve spent the last few months gently but firmly enforcing my no social events on the weekend boundary. It’s been hard- to ask family to move dinners or be okay with us not being there, it’s been hard to tell friends that I couldn’t do something because it’s family time.

And it’s also been so good.

I’ve seen a change in not only myself but also in my family. We’ve started to love the expectancy of dinner at our favorite local Mexican spot on Friday nights and a Saturday filled with dog walking, hikes, and puzzle building. And if I’m being honest with you, setting boundaries has allowed me the creativity and the room for the Spirit to guide me to be here with you!

I pray that as you’ve spent the last few weeks with me setting intentions, curating rhythms and evaluated priorities that you welcome in the call to set boundaries in pleasant places. I pray that the Lord would guide you with wisdom and discernment to what boundaries look like for you in this season and that you would grow a heart that is joy-filled and rested. I pray that you would be rooted firmly in your identity as a commissioned change-maker, right here in this moment and dedicate yourself to making room for God to move.

With you and for you,